Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Mr. Bitter Interview

3:45 p.m. / 15:45

I wrote a series of fifteen questions and asked Mr. Bitter to fill in the answers. It's almost as insightful as the Magic 8 Ball interview. Actually, it's more insightful but no thanks to my questions.

1. Have you ever tried sushi?
Yes. In fact, I've made sushi once. My friend said it was delicious. I hated it.

2. Why are you bitter?
I'd love to tell you, but it turns out that when I talk about it I just annoy people. So, I will instead list a few things that are bitter that people enjoy:
  • Dark chocolate
  • Coffee (I however despise coffee)

3. Do you mind sharing attention with two cats, Mabel and Fizzgig?
I have a lot of attention and affection to give. Spreading it between two cats is not a problem.

4. What do you like to read and what are you currently reading?
Mostly, I like to read books. But frequently I read the internet. I am currently reading question number 5 and attempting to formulate a witty response.

5. If you won the lottery, would you go to Disney World?
Yes. (I know, not that witty)

6. What are some of your favorite television shows and movies?
The only show currently on air that I hate to miss is Chuck. I also watch Castle occasionally. I am a big fan of Firefly and rewatch episodes on a semi-regular basis, particularly Jaynestown and Trash.

As for my favorite movies, well, here's a bulleted list (in no specific order):
  • Hudson Hawk
  • Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
  • Spies Like Us
  • Grosse Pointe Blank
  • Ghostbusters
7. What music do you enjoy?
It's questionable whether or not what I like is actually music. I enjoy classic rock, bad eighties music, and basically anything composed by Jim Steinman. In my truck, I am currently listening to Aim and Ignite by Fun. My favorite tracks are Be Calm, Benson Hedges, and All the Pretty Girls. I'll skip I Wanna Be the One and At Least I'm Not as Sad (As I Used to Be). In middle school I had a history of music class where I heard a lot of classical music that I really enjoyed, but nowadays I can probably only recognize Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries. There's more to go on this list, but I'd have to start naming individual songs instead of genres.

8. Do you like to bowl?

9. Do you consider yourself athletic?
Absolutely not. I may occasionally exhibit athletic tendencies, but I would not consider myself an athletic person.

10. What activities do you enjoy in your free time?
I try not to enjoy things. Especially in my free time. It detracts from my bitterness. But, it is not uncommon to find me either
  • Playing a video game
  • Reading a book
  • Staring intently at a blank word document attempting to will creativity into existence (someone once told me it works better if your hands are on the keyboard, but then I'd have to have something to type)
  • Sorting Magic: The Gathering cards (I use the full name because someone might think I had a magic trick deck.)
During the brief occasions I'm with people who can stand to be around me for more than five minutes, I enjoy board games. My favorite is Carcassonne.

11. Do you like spending time outdoors, working in the yard, camping, etc?
Really it depends on the weather. But given ideal conditions, I enjoy activities such as camping, bicycling (or, I would if I still had a bike), and tennis.

12. How long have you known me?
I believe we have known each other now for five years.

13. Will you please describe your hair?
Brown. If that is not an adequate enough description for you, I think you aught to take a crack at describing it.

14. There's a rumor you're working on a novel; do you care to confirm or deny this?
I will confirm it as long as you have a very loose definition of working.

15. Are you looking forward to Christmas?
It is, supposedly, the most wonderful time of the year. Actually, Christmas tends to make me more than a little crazy. There's all the house cleaning that needs to be done so people can come over, and the stress of trying to pick out gifts as near to perfect as possible (and the fact that each year I have less and less money with which to pick out awesome gifts). It's always worth it, though, for about five minutes. For five minutes, people think you are one of the most amazing people in the world. But then, life takes hold again and you have to rush to someone's house or the turkey is overcooking or some tragedy has just occurred. That, or people remember what a pain in the ass you are.

Response 4 addendum (placed down here so as not to detract from my snarkiness above):
I mostly read fantasy novels. The first fantasy novel I read was The Hobbit in fifth grade (I remember wanting to read it in third grade, but Mom said it was probably too much for me). After that I began reading the numerous Forgotten Realms Dungeons and Dragons tie in novels. I would read these frequently through high school (although I gave up on R. A. Salvatore pretty early; not a huge Drizzt fan).
In the early years of high school I started reading Piers Anthony; first his Xanth novels, and then the Incarnations of Immortality. I made it up to Swell Foop in the Xanth novels when I just couldn't read them anymore; I won't even read the older ones that I liked. I read all of the Incarnations of Immortality, but I'd recommend stopping after On A Pale Horse. Seriously. After that they're awful.
In my junior or senior year I discovered The Wheel of Time series. I thought the first books were awesome in their stories; I thought the later ones were awesome in their sheer mass. Books 4 through 11 were a trial to read (with the exception of book 6). There came a point where I wanted to give up on them, but I was in too deep. Book 12 was quite an improvement; I feel that the main character's disposition seriously improved by the end of the book, and there was a battle scene that I read multiple times. I haven't read the newest one yet, but I will.
I don't read as much now (I don't have teachers to ignore). I have lately (within the past year or two) taken a liking to Brandon Sanderson's novels, my favorites being Elantris and Warbreaker. I also like Jim Butcher's Dresden novels, and if Pat Rothfuss ever finishes The Wise Man's Fear I'll probably devour it in a couple of days, after rereading The Name of The Wind to refresh since I can't remember an ounce of it.

Also, my all time favorite novel: Neuromancer by William Gibson. It's science fiction. Read it. Go on, check it out at your library ASAP and read it!

Yay, fantasy books!! Somewhere on the interwebs there is a Wheel of Time fanfic written by my former roommate (male) and a couple of his siblings. I've heard it's a good fanfic.
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