Sunday, June 04, 2006

Not A Dancing Queen

9:55 p.m. / 21:55

Last night I went the wedding of a friend from high school, and there was a lot, a lot of dancing. Mostly I just watched-- I'm a people watcher, so I didn't mind. My table conspired to get me out on the dance floor for Blondie's Heart of Glass. If it'd been any other song, they might not have won me over, but I figured since I'm one of few people I know who actually likes that song, maybe I should go dance to it. So I did, sort of. I'm not a great dancer under any circumstances, and I'm almost incapable of dancing in public-- like physically unable. I just sort of... stiffen up in the presence of others, even if there is good music involved. Now, they did have an open bar, so I could have drunk my way to the dance floor, but I had to choose between dancing and driving then, and driving seemed pretty important. Anyway, after Heart of Glass was over, I returned to my seat and more or less stayed there for the rest of the night.

The last song was a slow dance, and since a cluster of people getting ready to leave had formed in the middle of the room, a friend (another girl) and I moved away from our table to get a better view of the dance floor. A couple of guys came up and said that since it was the last song and we were all just standing around, we should all go dance. I've never been asked to dance before. Slow dancing terrifies me. In a phenomenal social blunder, I panicked. Seriously. I couldn't speak. How do you turn down an offer to dance? Especially from a seemingly nice, good-looking guy, who's probably never been turned down for a dance before? How do you do that and not come off as the total freak of female nature I so am? Finally, I laughed and said I don't dance. At all. By this time, my friend was half-way to the dance floor with the other guy. I told "my" guy (I failed to even learn his name!) it was still nice to be asked. We stood in silence for the rest of the song, which wasn't long. "See?" he'd said, "It would have only been a for a few seconds... we might not have even made it out there". I agreed and said I was sorry again, and politely (I think, I hope) made my escape.

My friend told me later that the guy she danced with had asked her if it was true that I don't like to dance, or if I just didn't want to dance with his buddy. She confirmed the truth of my really not wanting to dance.

Later at home, after finding a good friend online and giving her a run-down of my no-dancing evening, I found my Blondie CD and danced alone, but that was okay; that's how I like to dance. Well, I was mostly alone; one of the cats, Gizmo, sat on my bed and watched. In truth, many of the songs at the reception made me want to dance, just not bad enough to get over the fact that there were other people in the room. So I danced myself silly at home in my room, with Gizmo giving me dirty looks. I danced through Heart of Glass, then stopped and skipped the disc forward to Atomic, kicked off my heels and danced some more. After that, I listened to one more song, Dreaming, and danced out of my wedding-going clothes and into my pajamas and put my tired-ass, dumb-ass self to bed.

In the morning, my mom and Lee Ann Womack (via I Hope You Dance playing through my mind), had me wondering if I'd made a mistake not dancing with... Nameless Nice Guy. Probably it was a mistake. Yet, if the same thing happened tomorrow, I know I'd still say no.

i know i was introduced to them at some point outside, but i couldn't tell you either of their names.
I'm sorry you suffered the dreaded Dance Freeze. It has happened to me before...

However, I must say that this is a beautifully-written entry! You may not be able to dance in public, but you sure can write well about not doing so! :)
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